Those were the words I heard on the call that changed everything.
Except, I wasn’t expecting it at all.
I was being let go—my position eliminated as a “reduction in force.” My role as an AVP was being replaced by a VP and a part-time staff member. Yes, they really hired 1.5 FTEs to replace me. But somehow, I was supposed to anticipate that I wasn’t enough.
At the time, I’d been working from home when it wasn’t the norm. Later, I heard the whispers—that having a young child at home had raised concerns. It didn’t seem to matter that I had full-time childcare in place. Or that I met every deadline. Or that I produced a high volume of work, maintained strong relationships, and was articulate, knowledgeable, and damn good at my job.
I remember my last day vividly—it was a Thursday. The next day, my daughter turned two.
The Emotional Fallout
Shock. Anger.
Those came first.
It didn’t even matter that someone in another division was frustrated enough about my departure that they hired me back as a consultant—by Monday, I was working with them in a different division.
I was still ticked off. I felt devalued. I knew I didn’t deserve to be let go. I couldn’t believe it was happening.
When you’re unexpectedly fired, it feels personal—because it is personal. Even when it’s framed as a business decision.
That’s the thing about job loss: it comes with grief. The SARAH model describes the emotional cycle:
Shock – How is this happening to me?
Anger – I gave them everything, and this is what I get?
Resistance – Maybe I can fight this. Maybe it’s not really over.
Acceptance – Okay, this happened. What now?
Healing & Hope – Maybe this could lead to something better.
With everything happening in the job market right now, more people than ever are being forced to walk this path. If that’s you, know this: it’s okay to process your emotions however you need to.
When Your Identity is Tied to Your Job
After anger came something even harder—feeling lost.
So much of who I was had been built on my work—my professionalism, my dedication, my work ethic. My identity was deeply intertwined with my role.
Then came fear.
How long could I go without a job?
How long would it take to find something new?
Where could I cut expenses?
That fear is real. And it’s paralyzing.
For me, things worked out quickly that time. But the reality? I’ve been through this three times in my career.
Three Layoffs, Three Lessons
After experiencing job loss multiple times, I learned a few things the hard way.
Losing a job follows the grief cycle—expect the emotions that come with it.
Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them define your future.
Prepare for the unexpected—because it can, and probably will, happen again.
Here’s what I wish I had known earlier.
How to Move Forward After a Layoff
1. Evaluate Your Financial Situation Without Catastrophizing
When you lose a job, your brain immediately jumps to worst-case scenarios.
Take a deep breath. Then take stock.
What savings do you have?
Are there alternative income sources?
What’s your actual financial runway?
It’s easy to spiral into “I’m going to lose everything” thinking. Instead, shift your focus: How can I generate income right now?
Could you take temporary work?
Offer consulting or freelance services?
Pivot to a new role or industry?
The goal isn’t just to survive—it’s to stay in control of your choices.
2. Make a Plan
Being laid off feels like losing control. Taking action brings it back.
Instead of rushing into just anything, take time to define what you actually want.
What kind of work excites you?
What are the must-haves in your next role?
If you could design your ideal work-life balance, what would it look like?
Then, write it down.
Not just “I want another job.” Go deeper. Describe your ideal day, week, and month. Then, start sharing it—with friends, family, social networks.
Most people don’t land jobs from cold applications. They land them through connections.
And if traditional employment isn’t the right fit anymore, this could be the moment to explore something new.
Is it time to start your own business?
Could you pivot into a different industry?
Are there skills you’ve overlooked that could open unexpected doors?
Be open to multiple paths. Either/or thinking— “I have to find a job immediately OR I’m doomed”—keeps you stuck.
And once you pick a direction? Commit to it for long enough to see results.
3. Take Action—Any Action
No plan works without execution.
The hardest part? Starting.
Your first actions don’t have to be perfect. They just have to happen.
Reach out to one person in your network today.
Update your LinkedIn profile.
Apply for one role that excites you.
Start brainstorming business ideas if you want to go solo.
Action is the antidote to fear.
Let go of expectations about exactly how things should unfold. Instead, measure progress by movement. Every step forward is momentum.
And when you do take action? Celebrate it.
Job loss can make you feel powerless. But every move you make reminds you: you’re still in control.
The Power of Community
Relationships are everything—especially in career transitions.
Talking to your network isn’t just about job leads (though that happens). It’s about support.
Who in your circle has been through this?
Who can offer insights, encouragement, or fresh ideas?
Who might know someone who can help?
Over my career, the best opportunities have come from unexpected places—because I told people what I was looking for.
If you’re struggling with a layoff, talk about it. You never know who might be the connection that changes everything.
Let’s Connect
If you’re navigating a career shift—whether by choice or by force—you don’t have to do it alone.
Whether you’re looking to pivot, start something new, or just process what’s next, let’s connect.
Having someone on your side who’s been through it can make all the difference.
Your next step? It’s out there. You just have to take it.
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